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Transporting CBP

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  • Member since
    December 2008
  • From: The Inland Northwest
Transporting CBP
Posted by Krusty on Monday, December 29, 2008 4:24 AM

The Scenario:

Decenber 29, 2009. Exactly 1 year from today several hard core dedicated individuals in persuit of riches meet in a coffee warehose on the southside of Bogota Columbia. The man they meet is known simply as El Jefe. He's hiring for a job, move 500 kilos of coffee 5,600 kilometers to a warehouse in south central Los Angeles. The job pays $10 million in cash. The only catch is, they can't be caught.

Starting in Bogota Columbia the intrepid convoy moves north, through guerilla territory. El Jefe has granted safe passage but rival coffee dealers may try to rip off the shipment. There is sure to be an attack. Then they must make it past the notoriously corrupt border crossing in Panama. Will they buy their way across the border or blast through it?

In Panama they must use third world fuel to power their machines. Will they continue to run? Will anti-American fighters ambush the convoy?

Sneaking through the jungle into idyllic Costa Rica in the middle of the night the intrepid travelers spend a few days relaxing on the beach. Maintaining their machines, preparing their minds and bodies for what's to come.

Relaxed and re-armed they push north into Nicaragua, slogging their way along primitive roads, fighting dysentary, bad fuel, and mosquitoes that can suck a man dry in is sleep. Battling their way through the border crossing into Honduras is no relief. Seeking refuge from the jungle they push into the highlands. They soon find that there is no range low enough and commnist freedom fighters lurk around every bend. Moral and ammunition is running low.

They motor on into Guatemala and in a desperate running gun battle break out into Mexico. Exhausted they find a place to hole up for a few days to heal and re-arm. The journey is not yet over. Now they must brave the Mexican desert, banditos, and American tourists. They haven't had a good meal or good tank of fuel in weeks. Exausted the men man their rigs and soldier on.

Midnight, the Mexican-American border. The convoy, weary and battered faces the mightiest of threats. The DEA. They don't want the coffee brought in to the US. Under cover of darkness the vehicles ford the Rio Grand and make a mad dash across the Arizona desert. Tire shredding rocks tear at the undercarriage, terrain flies by in the green light of the night vision.

Miraclously, they make it to the highway undetected. Like so many border jumpers before them. Jubiliant the convoy motors into the nearest convenience store for fuel and hot dogs. The best meal the rigs and the men who drive them have had for weeks.

The peril isn't over, by dawns early light they must brave the most perilous conditions known to modern man. Southern Calfornia traffic, during rush hour. As traffic slows to a crawl fingers become itchy on triggers. "If I see one more guy on his cell phone...".

Finally, they roll up to the warehouse. The coffee is unloaded and the men are paid. Now they must make it out of South Central Los Angeles with $10 million in cash on them alive...

The Vehicles:

They must be tough! Reliable, easily fixed.

4x4 (or more) is highly recomended.

Must be able to carry 500 Kilos of coffee.

Armor and armament are highly recommended.

A sleeping compartment is highly recommended.

Crew served vehicles do well. Remember though, it's $10 million per vehicle. So you have to split that with your crew. Unless they have an unfortunate accident along the way.

Recovery equipment, like a winch, is highly recommended.

Carry a few spare tires.

Have a big bumper for ramming whatever is in your way.

The Question.

Are you in? Will you answer El Jefe's call?

Note: The above scenario is fictional and not an offer of employment. Illegal transportation of coffee is wrong. This is for entertainment purposes only. All models must be un-started. You can't enter a model you completed. The uglier and more homebuilt your vehicle the better. Progress pics are encouraged and add to the fun.

  • Member since
    November 2007
Posted by Coo Coo Chris on Monday, December 29, 2008 5:09 AM

Sounds like fun! you sure we're talking about coffee here ? I like to know what I'm tote'n if ya know what I mean? It must be Star-Bucks!!!


  • Member since
    December 2008
  • From: The Inland Northwest
Posted by Krusty on Monday, December 29, 2008 6:34 AM

El Jefe says we are transporting a very special kind of coffee. Maybe it has a high level of cafeine? I don't know. I got the distinct impression that asking too many questions was a good way to shorten your life.

I'm thinking of starting with a Revell Peterbilt 359 kit and adding various bits from military model kits available at my LHS. Try my hand at some scratchbuilding. Or maybe I'll make a wicked Chevy Suburban.

As you post your build and your progress of it feel free to flesh out the story. Add some anecdotes of what happens to you and your rig during our run. That's part of the fun. Think of this as a model building and creative writing CBP.

  • Member since
    December 2005
  • From: Sandefjord, NORWAY
Posted by MillerMeteor on Monday, December 29, 2008 7:36 AM

Is this El Jefe? I would like to participate in your coffee hauling convoy. Heck, for $10 million, I`ll haul anything you want. Just give me some time to round up a crew and some arms and get a vehicle specially built for the purpose. I`m thinking huge fuel tanks, big tires, flexible suspension, a bit of armor, and enough guns to start WWIII! Give me a holler if you accept my participation in your coffee smuggling operation.

On the bench (cos I see people put that in here!):

* Scratchbuilt Peterbilt 351 (finished)/Fruehauf tanker - The Duel Truck

* 1977 Pontiac Ventura 'Cannonball Run 2011' CBP Entry

  • Member since
    December 2008
  • From: The Inland Northwest
Posted by Krusty on Monday, December 29, 2008 2:49 PM

El Jefe accepts your application of employment. Prepare your vehicle my friend.

  • Member since
    March 2004
  • From: Bath, Somerset, United Kingdom
Posted by Cycolac Fan on Thursday, January 1, 2009 6:11 PM

 Okay I'm tempted, if nothing else it's a fantastically well thought out backplot. I have an old Monster truck chassis that might well come in useful...

One question for The Manager:

Must be able to carry 500 Kilos of coffee.

just so we're all singing from the same song book, how is the coffee packed - beans in sacks, or ground granules in jars? Roughly how much space would this cargo take up? Are we talking a long wheelbase panel van, the trunk of a Pinto, saddlebags on a Harley or the glovebox of a Peterbilt?

After that no further questions...

Mike "Good hands, bad taste in cars." Yes I'm a grown up 'playing' with toys but a lot of adults my age drink beer or play computer games - and I've got something to show for the time and money I've spent...
  • Member since
    December 2008
  • From: The Inland Northwest
Posted by Krusty on Thursday, January 1, 2009 6:49 PM

The coffee will be packaged in burlap sacks, stacked on a standard size shipping pallet, approximately waist high on a 6 foot tall gringo.

Bonus coolness points will be awarded if you complete your model with cargo.

I'm going to make a Vietnam style gun truck out of a Peterbilt 359. Just having trouble finding 1/24 scale weaponry. That's the only thing holding me up. Need to go to a larger LHS.

Stay tuned!

  • Member since
    March 2004
  • From: Bath, Somerset, United Kingdom
Posted by Cycolac Fan on Saturday, January 3, 2009 10:04 PM


Just having trouble finding 1/24 scale weaponry. 

Try the AMT/Ertl '77 Dodge Monaco Gotham City Police car/ Joker Goon Car from the Batman movie - it's been issued a couple of times, it has a few rifles/shotguns included.

Mike "Good hands, bad taste in cars." Yes I'm a grown up 'playing' with toys but a lot of adults my age drink beer or play computer games - and I've got something to show for the time and money I've spent...
  • Member since
    December 2004
  • From: Tampa, FL.
Posted by Jantrix on Monday, January 12, 2009 9:22 PM

Hmm..............seems to me I've heard this story before. This El Jefe wouldn't be the same fella that was wanting to bring Coors across state lines years ago is he? Fella's if this is what El Jefe looks like, you might want to be careful, he's doesn't play fair.

And watch out for the lil one too, he's a mean little Censored.

Seriously this sounds like fun, I'll be watching.

Rob Geeked There is a nasty little four letter word for building something you're not interested in - work. And that's not what we do here. My Photo Album


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